So today at weigh in, I was down 1.6 lbs. I told my leader that I was leaving Weight Watchers because my pounds lost per dollar ratio is too low, that something in the mechanics of Weight Watchers right now is demotivating to me.
She and I sat down and are working on a way I might be able to stay in a losing mode with Weight Watchers. I know that it's a program that works for a lot of people, but for me, I have an intensely difficult time staying ON program. This hasn't always been the case. In 2003, I lost weight very quickly and very easily with Weight Watchers. I was never not on program. I excelled at making the program fit my life and making my life fit the program. I'd get to the end of my point range and just stop. It was like an invisible line.
I ended most weeks with more than 30 points in the bank because of activity. I lost more than 60 lbs from February to October, when I made lifetime.
Now, I've lost 3 lbs in almost a year.
I need to do something. My son, lately, has been making remarks about my size. He mentioned today that I am 'very round' My feelings are hurt by this. I mean he's only four and I am trying to teach him that it isn't nice to comment on people's sizes, but he hasn't figured it out yet. I'd really wanted to have this weight problem resolved before he got to the Fat Mom noticing stage and I am just unbearably sad. I feel like a failure. I know that Aimee is going to have something to say about that :). I just need to get the hurt and sad and channel it into a positive change for me.
My resolve is strong.