26 July 2014


For the past 2 or so years, I've started and quit about 400,000,000 eating ideas.  The one thing that is constant is that they are restrictive, I crave what's being restricted or get somewhere out of my control and eat something restricted and then the floodgates open and I eat all the things. That's not particularly healthy or healthful. 

I've tried counting calories, but I get all weird and permissive.

I've tried Weight Watchers and it LITERALLY makes me obsessed with food, what I can fit in, what I can't fit in, etc. 

I've tried clean eating and had a lot of success, but it's easy to backslide.

So here is what I am trying... Accountability.  Just eating with intention.  Taking a moment to notice if I am really hungry or if something else is going on there.  It's not perfect.  Sometimes I still make unhealthy choices, but that's ok.

What I am doing, stripped down, is taking BAD or GOOD off the table.  It's just food. Which is just energy.  I'm working on NOT flogging myself for every mistake.  I'm working on listening to the anxious voice in my head, acknowledging, then moving on. I'm generally in charge of what's happening in my head, regardless of if I feel in control of it at the time.

I really, truly believe that once you start loving yourself for you, the rest kind of right sizes itself.

So, for today, I am exercising with intention, eating with intention, taking notice of the details. 

It doesn't matter if I lose weight.  Not even a pound.  I just need to make the healthiest choice I can in the moment and move on to the next decision.

13 July 2014


A group of friends and I left Weight Watchers.  We knew we needed the accountability of getting together, craved the conversation, and wanted a reason to get together a week.

Enter Anne.  Anne is a former Weight Watchers leader and one of the most engaging people I know.  She's a new mom who is also studying to become a Certified Life Coach.  She came up with the great idea of bringing a group of people together and having us work together towards our goals.  

This morning was the inaugural session.  We all converged on Anne's house and made some coffee and settled in.  We needed to coo over the world's cutest baby, of course, but mostly it was a positive, honest, raw conversation.  Anne facilitated it wonderfully, had us thinking of things in terms of how things are moving you towards your goals, how things move you away from your goals.

We didn't focus on points, calories, the number on the scale, success, failure.  Just on us and each other.

And it was powerful.

My anxiety has been kicking my ass lately.  All the time, actually.  So I picked the word calm for my week.  I need to approach the week with calm intentions to meet my goals this week.  Tomorrow morning, I will calmly take my dog for a walk.  Tuesday morning, I will run with Conner before work and walk 3 miles with him after work.

Calm.  I will tell the voice in my head that brings up things that aren't great, makes me question how I am, how I am doing, my worthiness- that I hear it and be calm around it.

I'm going to make myself better, stronger.  Even if I don't ever lose a pound, I'm getting better every day.