24 December 2008

11 months old

Man, I am late making this post. Having an 11 month old running (yes, that's right RUNNING) around the house will do that to you.

Dear Deven,
About a day after I did your 10 month letter, you took your first real steps. There were three of them, from the couch to your mama. Then you started taking a consistent 2 steps from this item to that. Then you just started walking.

Now you run here and there and everywhere. You get really excited. You work your little fingers for balance. You are an excellent walker, by all reports.

You have really been showing your personality more and more. Unfortunately, you have inherited my lack of frustration tolerance. I hope you learn to handle frustration better than I can.

You are cruising into your first Christmas pretty much unaware that it is Christmas. With the exception that you love the little Christmas tree behind the couch.

This month, you had your Mundan. You were very impressive, handling all of those people as if you saw them every day.

I am so proud of you. I hope that I can be the mama you deserve.

I love you so much,

20 November 2008

10 months old

Dear Deven,
Being your mom is a bigger adventure every month. You are getting more and more brave. You have taken a few unassisted steps here and there. You have started giving things a name. You are into everything.

You have also started getting very demanding, really finding your voice. You try different sounds to see what works best to get what you want or need. We try to respond to the cute little chatter, not to the crying or screaming.

You have started to get really excited when we come to pick you up. You crawl, toddle or cruise to us as fast as you can. You are full of smiles. You give hugs (you say awww when you give them), sloppy kisses and still have a winning smile with those 2 bottom teeth showing.

You are such a great kid. Really, the best thing that has ever happened to your dad and me. We love you both so much.


20 October 2008

9 months old

Dear Deven,
This past month has been my favorite so far. You are now a super cruiser, and FINALLY you have a tooth showing through your gums. You also have 2 bumps that are pointing to 2 more teeth straight away. I am going to miss your toothless smile so much, but that tooth sure is cute so far!

You have decided that baby food is for chumps. Now you want all table food all the time. Breakfast is 1/2 a slice of toast and 1/2 a banana, lunch is whatever veggies and fruits daycare is feeding everyone (they can still get you to eat some baby food, but I cannot) and dinner is usually some diced carrots, peaches or pears. Get some more teeth and we can branch out some more.

Last night, you gave us quite a scare by running a fever of 104.6. The nurse at your doctor's office said that this is OK as long as you are wetting diapers and you don't run this fever for more than 72 hours. Your temperature is down to 99 right now. That's a huge relief.

You have really started to show your own personality. I can honestly say that you are the coolest person that I know. You always have a ready smile. Your dad makes you laugh like nobody's business. You give kisses.

You are trying so very hard to say some words. We've heard you say something that sounds suspiciously like 'Hi Kittycat" to the cats, you say Dada a lot, and you say 'OM' which is usually said either looking at me or when you are super upset and want your mom. I am sure that we are just attributing our own words to your vocalizations, but I'd like to think you are starting to get communication.

I love you so much. Thank you for being the best baby ever.


20 September 2008

8 Months Old

Dear Deven,

On Thursday, you turned 8 months old. It's been such an awesome month. You took off crawling like a shot. You are into everything, so are really keeping us on our toes.

Not content to let your accomplishments there, you are also pulling yourself up on EVERY THING POSSIBLE, including things that are not nearly stable enough to be standing against. This has resulted in some comical "Deven's stuck" situations.

You are cruising and it's very cute. You are also trying to work out bending at the waist to get something you want.

You are eating more and more grown up food cut into tiny bits. We could advance you more quickly, but apparently, you are never getting teeth, because after 8 months of life, you are still a toothless wonder.

I do think you are getting very spoiled, but its the good kind of spoiled. The kind where your parents love you so much and pick you up when you cry. You are not STUFF spoiled.

It's such a pleasure to be your mom, to have you look up from nursing, smile a little smile and tap my arm. I love every second. Even those seconds that get me up in the night. You are the best little person ever.

I love you so much,


24 August 2008

7 months old

Dear Deven,
This month has been a very good month. You are growing up way too fast!
You have started crawling in your own manner. You go backwards like a champ and sort of swim forward or side to side. I can see the wheels turning and I know that you will figure out how to go forward sooner or later.

You also surprised us by pulling yourself up to a stand more than once! Very impressive!

You continue to like eating solids, particularly veggies. you also have been getting little chunks of banana, cheerios, and Gerber poofs. you are starting to be able to put together how to pick stuff up and eat it, but your fine motor skills really could use some help.

You are doing raspberries and now are making this adorable face where you stick your tongue out towards the side. It's CUTE!

You still don't have teeth yet, but I have to think it is soon coming. You continue to gnaw, drool and have moments where you are only soothed by a teething ring.

You now really don't like to lay on your back. If someone lays you down on your back, you will roll yourself over to your belly. Just this week, you started rolling yourself over to sleep on your belly.

Also this month, you started laughing AT things, not just when tickled. It is very cute and we love to be able to see your sense of humor.

You have started to show the first signs of separation anxiety. You were sitting with your daddy and I left the room to make dinner and you cried and looked where I was until I returned. Then, when you saw me, you threw your arms up in the air. This is very sweet, but also makes me feel sad, as I never want you to feel sad or upset.

All in all, Deven, it is wonderful to get to be your mom. I love you so much.


23 July 2008

2 days wrap up

i've been getting plenty of activity. it's near impossible for me to function properly, though. deven is, for some reason, sleeping extremely fitfully. he was awake not less than 5 times in the night. not quite as bad was the night before last where he was awake 3 times in the night.

i'm fucking tired.

i'm just hanging on and doing the best i can

21 July 2008


I followed my plans for the weekend and ended the week down 3 lbs. Not a bad start overall.

I also got lots of activity in, and more importantly, lots of great snuggle time with Deven.

Yesterday's eating wasn't great start to finish, but I had planned for that. It was nice to have a day off from cooking/cleaning the fucking kitchen.

Today is Deven's first day back at Daycare because his dad starts his new job. I'm so sad. For the first time in a month, someone that doesn't love him is going to be spending all day with him.
I am already looking forward to picking him up and hanging out with him this evening.

19 July 2008

thoughts of yesterday

yesterday was a really good day. i ate well within my plan, moved around enough, and got some great quality time with deven.

devs started doing a pbbbbbt noise with his lips. cute, except when you are feeding him carrots. at that point, cute but messy.

he learns something new every day.

18 July 2008

6 months old!

Dear Deven,
Today you turn 6 months old. What a wonderful month this has been! You have really built your balance and are starting to really do a good job sitting up. You have also been screaming when happy and when sad. You keep getting funnier and more entertaining. I wish I never had to leave your side.

The other day, you started fake coughing. It is so cute. You fake cough and look up at us like 'hey, how cute am I?'

I absolutely love when you are proud of yourself. I hope we can capture that look in a picture, because it is one of the best faces I have ever seen.

You seem to be working on some teeth. Granted, your dad and I have thought this for the past 2 months, but you have been gnawing on anything you can get your mouth on, drooling like a champion, have periods of extreme crankiness that is tamed by some baby orajel.

You have been able to roll over for some time, but this month, you really mastered it. You go from back to front, front to back, side to side. You have been known to scoot yourself in a semi-circle.

You smile a lot, laugh a lot. You are making a new face where you bounce your tongue off of your bottom lip. You are also making the toothless old man face.

Every day of this past 6 months has been a treat.

I'm really looking forward to the next six.


thoughts from yesterday

i kicked ass on my plan yesterday. i even made a good choice at culver's.

i also walked for around 2 hours.

all in all, a really good day. deven got his 6 month portraits. he was not very cooperative, but he was super cute. he always is.

17 July 2008

Notes from yesterday

Deven is really cute. Other than him, it was a frustrating day around the house.

I did really well for eating yesterday. I didn't go for a walk on lunch, my walking buddy was flexing, so I worked through. It was humid as shit anyway.

Today, I get off at noon, so I will come home and get Deven ready for his 6 month portraits.

He's laying on the floor chewing on is pooh rattle. He is such an amazing little person.

16 July 2008

July 16th notes from yesterday

We made an appointment to get Dev's 6 month portraits taken. We got him some outfits. Cuteness will commence.

Eating wise, I did pretty well yesterday. I stayed well within my target calories and got some exercise. If I could replicate yesterday every single day for the next year, I would be in business.

My husband and I had a sort of disagreement yesterday. Nothing major. First one in a long time. But it bothers me. Bah.

Time to get ready for work. If I have time, I might stop in to recap the day this evening.

15 July 2008

Post of the day

So today, I don't have much to add. I did about an hours worth of walking in the warm sun. Deven is tolerant of this for less than an hour.

We did stop at the park and put him in the swing. He likes it if he is sitting up, but his hands really shake if he is sitting back, so we think that scares him.

I didn't do too great on my eating plan yesterday. I went over my goal by about 200 calories.

I have a good plan for today and it should be easy to execute.

14 July 2008

Monday, July 14

I woke up at 4 AM with Deven when he started fussing. He nursed and snuggled with his mama until about 5. This left me with plenty of time to make breakfast and lunch. Between breakfast, lunch and my snacks, I have about 800 calories committed. That leaves between 500 and 900 for dinner. Should be a good day.

Yesterday, Raj, Deven and I went for a 2 hour walk. It was lovely. I would love to do that every day, but the demands of life will definitely prevent that most days.

I just have to stave off the stress eating. My job is fucking stressful lately. I KNOW that I stress eat, but that doesn't prevent me from actually doing it.

Poor Deven. Teething sucks. There is a little swelling in his gums, a lot of drooling and crying, but no actual teeth. I would give anything to have this pain for me to spare him.

Shit. Time to go to work.

08 July 2008

thoughts from the shower

i know this isn't a well read blog, probably because i rarely have anything interesting to share with the internets, but here is the collection of thoughts from this morning in the shower.

  • Deven is almost 6 months old. Isn't it time to start working on the baby weight
  • Be honest, you already had some weight to lose when you got pregnant with Deven
  • I need to start working on my self esteem.
  • I've always had weight issues, and I need to get them under control NOW.

So yeah, I am one of those rare women for whom breast feeding has NOT helped regain prepregnancy shape. I was a bit chunky before I got pregnant, and gained an ALARMING amount of weight while pregnant. Boo.

So yeah, I am going to try to blog my efforts towards finally losing the prepregnancy weight and getting my metabolism back (ruined possibly permanently by a series of Master Cleanse experiments). I'll not mention how MUCH I want to lose, but will let everyone know EVERY SUNDAY what my week's worth of efforts have accomplished.

Once I lose the baby weight, I can start working on the quitting smoking weight. *sigh*
I just need something to feel good about, k?

So, I am sitting on the couch

With a snoring baby beside me. That part rules.

The part that sucks? It's past time for me to get in the shower. This means 1) I have to move said snoring baby into his room. 2) I have to leave snuggling and snoring baby and go to work. Boo gainful employment.

Just a few notes about life.

*My husbands ex job can suck it. Seriously, first they downsize him and like 900 other people. The severance rules, but 900 people at a time? THEN, 2 weeks after the big downsize, the people that administer the benefits for them send him a letter asking him to prove that Deven and myself are his dependents.

Whatev, assholes. We don't even have your sucky insurance anymore.

I hope my husbands new job is awesome. I hope that all of the stress I have doesn't develop into a panic disorder.

But it probably will. Because my life rules.

25 June 2008

5 months old

Dear Deven,
Last week you turned 5 months old. I'm sorry to say that aside from some extra hugs and kisses, it went largely uncelebrated because we were deep in the middle of moving.

Over the course of the past month, you have started SCREECHING. I'm delighted you found your voice and all, but really, screeching? I could do without it. You screech happily and angrilly. It's the cutest fucking screech I have ever heard, but I never thought any other screeches were that cute.

We have started to introduce you to veggies just over the past few days. I must say, you didn't seem to delight in the new flavors like I thought you would. We'll keep trying though, because veggies are important and you will learn to like most of them.

You are sitting up even better than before. I have seen you sit unassisted for over 5 minutes before you tip over because you are tired of sitting up. You also roll over, grab your feet a lot, and laugh a ton. You also recently started passing toys from one hand to the next.

We are so proud of you, Deven. We love your laughs, your smiles, the cute face you make before you cry, the snuggles. This parenthood thing is such a cool experience. I've never been happier.


06 June 2008

So that birthday was a bit awful, actually.

i'm just glad it's over.

raj tried to make it nice.

05 June 2008

Oh my gawd, my kid is cute

Every day of Deven's life, he learns something new. Today, he realized THOSE THINGS AT THE END OF MY LEGS ARE FEET. THEY LOOK DELICIOUS. I WONDER IF I CAN STUFF THOSE IN MY FACE.

The beginning of this realization was this morning, while I was changing his diaper, he grabbed each of his feet and started swinging his but back and forth. Yeah, I needed diaper changing to stop being so easy. I went off to work and when I did my email check in with Raj, I learned that Deven was laying on his dad's lap chattering away, trying to put those feet in his mouth.

I totally get it, kiddo. I've kissed those little feet every day since you were born.

Another important cute moment of the day was when I was giving him his rice cereal. About every third bite, he had to delay chewing so that he could smile at me. The world has seldom seen a smile as wonderful as the one belonging to Deven.

Notable from today- first daycare injury. I get to daycare to pick Deven up and his teacher immediately starts explaining to me what happened. It takes some time to process, because Deven's teacher is hearing impaired, so she can be difficult to understand. Finally, I take Deven from his teacher and gather his things. I have to sign off on an incident report. Another baby crawled over to Deven while he was in a Bebbe Pod (for you non-Parents- it's a molded chair that helps babies to sit up) and hit him, then clawed his face. He has scratches on his forehead and along the left side. I know the kid that did this didn't realize she was hurting him, but I am fucking pissed. Deven? Yeah, he doesn't give a shit.

We move into our new place a week from Saturday. I can hardly wait. Dev will have his own room, I will have a yard to play in. Yay

18 May 2008

4 months old!

Dear Deven,

Today you turn four months old. This week you are more social, you smile at people, flirt with strangers, chatter in the cutest way imaginable, giggle sometimes, and this is my favorite, seek out our voices when we talk to you.

I will never forget the day I walked into your daycare to pick you up, and was talking to your teacher while I started walk towards where your things were kept. You saw me, smiled and threw your arms up. I have never felt more important.

You are starting to really play in your exersaucer, turning yourself around to look at all of the different toys. You seem to be connecting that when you pull on this, or push on that, they toy makes a noise.

We started you on rice cereal a few days ago at the suggestion of your pediatrician. You love this! At first, we had you in your exersaucer, but you were too excited, jumping around, to really get much food in your mouth. Now we use the bouncy seat and you are eating most of what we give you. As a result of the cereal, you are now sleeping 5 hours at a stretch, and your mama is starting to feel somewhat well rested.

Your sitting up is really improving. You can now sit up for about 10 seconds before you fall over. Speaking of falling over, you have a new game now. You will be sitting up and you will push yourself backwards so you can fall over. We only allow you to play this game on a soft surface, like into the down comforter, but you LOVE this game and don't seem to tire of it.

With all this good comes some bad. When you have cranky times, you REALLY have cranky times. You will fuss without resolution. But then you sleep. We've found even if you only sleep for 5 minutes, you will wake up and be the happy, smiley baby that we so adore.

You have also started to get scared. A loud noise will happen, and you will make a sad face and cry a very high pitched cry. This is a cry that breaks a mother's heart. The good news there is that you are very easy to soothe when this happens. We just hold you close, talk softly in your ear, and you feel better.

You are such an amazing little person, and I am profoundly privileged to be your mama.



21 April 2008

3 Months Old

Dear Deven,
On Friday, you turned 3 months old. It's been a wonderful month, despite your insistence on having a runny nose.

You stopped crying for no reason and started smiling more and more. You coo, you squeal. You are trying pretty damned hard to laugh. You have decided that diaper changes are HILARIOUS.

You are such a strong boy. You are trying so hard to sit up all by yourself. You are still too little, but I have no doubt that you are going to get it all worked out sooner rather than later. You also stand a lot. You just haven't worked out the whole balance thing. That's ok. You are WAY too little to start that nonsense.

You still give your daddy a hard time in the mornings when he is hanging out with you before work. I know that this is because he doesn't have the magic boobs and is not Mama. Give him a bit of a break. He's trying really hard and he loves you so much.

I'm so proud of you. You and your dad are the best things in my life.


09 April 2008

Morning at home

I had flex this morning, meaning I don't have to go to work until about noon. This morning so far (and it is only 9:40) Deven and I have enjoyed time in the Exersaucer, had tummy time, played with his puppy activity center, sang songs, had a bath, curled up in bed together and had a nap. We did an exercise where we stood up, sat up and lay down. Of course we have had a meal and some snacks (yay boobymilk)

Now he is sitting in his bouncy seat smiling, squealing and cooing. What the hell are we gonna do when he outgrows that thing?

He is at such a cool age. I am enjoying every minute. I just wish those minutes didn't fly by so quickly.

I'm really hoping we hear about the duplex today. I am ready to start thinning down our stuff to make moving easier. Even though we will have so much storage that we won't need to!

I'm also wanting to make a run to my hometown. We have quite a bit of stuff that my sister loaned us that Deven has outgrown. We have a swing that was my sister's sons that Deven is sooo not cool with. We have some maternity clothes to give back, too (so that she can work on giving me another niece or nephew)

With all this paring down, we might have to buy more stuff to fill the new place ;)

07 April 2008

I am so not updaty McGee.

This post will be a random collection of thoughts. Semi-coherent at best, I'm sure.

I'm sitting here on the couch with my snoozing 11 week old son beside me. He isn't sleeping particularly well because he brought home a nasty cold from daycare, one we are both fighting.

I am seriously considering buying and trying a netti pot. I must have lost my fucking mind, because never before in my life have I considered not only pouring warm water up my nose to wash the snot out, but also PAYING FOR AN APPARATUS to do the same. This cold is just that bad.

We are currently living in a one bedroom apartment. Raj and I are on the lookout for a larger place. Yesterday we toured 2 places, a duplex and a townhouse. Both are available for roughly the same rent we are paying now, each with it's own charm.

We have decided we like the duplex. A lot. It has just about everything. It's 3 bedrooms, with one full bath and two 3/4 baths. The family room is roomy, the laundry is in a convenient place, there is more than enough storage for 2 families like ours, a huge yard, a deck and tons of kitchen cabinet/counter space. The only down sides are some unfortunately colored carpets and the smallness of the living room. I hope nothing happens to prevent the rental. I can really see Deven growing up there.

The townhouse was just ehh, but for the FANTASTIC kitchen and the great views. The tradeoffs there were that it still has an apartment feel and the SHARP drop to the street below from the microscopic backyard.

Deven has recently started squealing. This is even cuter than cooing. He is the most awesome little person. Yesterday, I bounced him on my leg and he was squealing and grinning at me. Made my day!

The phone keeps ringing, bothering the baby. It's starting to piss me off. Particularly because they don't say anything. Once I got a call waiting with them calling me again while I was still trying to get them to at least say who they were calling for. I hate the phone.

I think that is all I know. Sad, that's all I have to say.

21 March 2008


Deven is 2 months old now and that means vaccinations.

Daddy holds down the baby, mama cries when baby starts crying. I'm such a pansy.

New development from the past few days. Deven doesn't want bottles, he wants MAMAs BOOBS.

Dude, I am totally important.

14 March 2008

2 months old in just a few days

Dear Deven,
This has been such a cool month. You have started smiling, cooing, reaching for objects in front of you.

It's also been a tough month. You had whole nights that you didn't think sleeping was necessary for either of us. You don't just get a little upset anymore. You get pissed. I am talking wailing, red faced, fists balled up pissed. You go straight from smiling to this point.

It is also been a tough month because I went back to work this week, and you went to daycare.
I cried so hard leaving you. It's really a miracle that I didn't get in an accident driving to work. I was very proud when the daycare lady told me that you are 'the most wonderful baby' and 'a delight'. I was happy to learn that you were eating and sleeping well at daycare, but at the same time, it made me a little sad. My baby doesn't need me quite as much anymore.

Yesterday, when I picked you up from daycare, you made my day. You smiled at me, cooed and made my heart melt all over again.

I love you little man. More than I can ever express.

Just don't grow up too soon, k? I really cherish this time with you.


04 March 2008

So THIS is what they mean by overstimulated

For most of the first 6 weeks of his life, Deven has slept like an angel. Snuggled into your arm, sprawled out in his Pack n' Play, tucked into his crib, or curled up beside Mama and Papa in their bed, he slept for huge chucks of time-3-4 hours at a stretch, would eat and then right back to sleep with him.

He is still napping like that throughout the day and for most of the night. He's a joy to have and we count our blessings that we have such a calm, relaxed, adorable child. Then evening rolls around. For the majority of the evening, he is PISSED. He wails, he refuses all comforts. He is completely inconsolable. It breaks my heart to see him cry at this stage of his life.

What worked last night was to turn on the fan, rock him slowly, rub his back, and sing softly to him.

Because we are problem solvers by nature, we have decided to institute a 8 PM quiet time. No electronics after 8 PM. Only soft voices and baby snuggling. We have got to solve this problem, because it is really upsetting to see your very young child so upset.

Don't get me wrong, though. I'll not be one of those parents that gives in and lets their kid have whatever they want because it is easier than dealing with a tantrum. No way. This is different. This kid is crying because he is overwhelmed. I just need to figure out how to help him feel less so.

Later on when he throws a fit because he MUST have that Elmo doll. Yeah, that's when we apologize to the nearest store employee, explaining that we can't buy any items today because baby boy cannot behave himself and then we leave the store. I'll.Not. Have. It. End of discussion.

I start back to work slowly next week. Shit. That went by too fast. I wanna stay home with him forever.

18 February 2008

Deven Thomas is 1 month old

I cannot believe that a month has gone by already. He is already such a little sweetheart. Growing so big already!

Things that are notable about this month:

Sleep grins. Mama's heart melts
BABY FARTS STINK! Lots and lots of baby farts!
Breast feeding is harder than I thought.
He's started sleeping 3 hours at a time. I am starting to feel somewhat well rested. This is a recent (last few days) development.

Here is my letter to Deven- I will try to write this letter to him every month so that he can look back on them when he is older.

Dear Deven,
You came into the world right before a storm and very cold weather. You showed your stubborn side by refusing to be turned when they tried to do the version. You came into the world via C-section on 1/18/2008 at 7:54 PM. Your daddy brought you to me and I said "Hi, Deven"

You turned your head towards me and it was love right then.

I would do anything in this world for you.

I'm looking forward to seeing your first smile, hearing you laugh, watching you roll over and sit up.

I always knew I would love you, but I never imagined that I would love you this much. You are the best thing I have ever done in my life.

Today, you were sleeping on my lap and you were grinning in your sleep. Then you giggled. It was the cutest sound I have ever heard.

I hope I am as good a mama as you deserve. I will try my hardest.


08 January 2008

Goals for 2011

my top priority is the 35 lbs i have pledged for pound for pound challenge.

i will also be donating 1 lb of food for every lb i lose for the entire  year.  if i lose 50 lbs or more, i will donate 2 lbs of food for every  lb i lose.

*this will be from my most recently documented weight at sparkpeople.com, as i am on a  scale abstinence thing until 1 feb 2011.   (the abstinence thing might  change if i don't lose my food apathy soon)
here are the goals that i have for this year and the timeline for them.

i want to be under 200 lbs by the end of the quarter.