27 August 2013

Struggle, Always Struggle

I've been a giant ball of stress.  My in-laws came for a visit.  Now, don't get me wrong, they are lovely people, but they live in a museum, practically and I, well, don't.  Not even close.

So I took Wednesday off from work and frantically deep-cleaned my house.  My husband took Thursday off from work and helped me do more scrubbing.  They arrived Friday AM and my house was preeeetty much as clean as I'd want it to be.  But there were still things.  Like I have worn out cookware.  It took my mother-in-law 2.3 seconds to mention this. It will be about 7 years before new cookware makes it anywhere in our budget.  We have muuuuch bigger priorities.  What we have is adequate, at least until we've replaced our terrible truck and possibly moved into a house with a fence for my puppy.

We're from different cultures, my in-laws and me.  A lot of the things they expect as normal would NEVER EVER happen in my central Iowa upbringing.  Many things come off as downright rude.  So I spent the better part of 4 days stress eating, rage suppressing, biting my tongue.  For example, my father-in-law called me from the kitchen, where I was cooking dinner, to tell me to refill his glass and to grab a refill for my husband, too.

I tried to focus this stressed out energy on my runs, but for the past 3 runs, I couldn't find my groove.  I just got new kicks and I'm not sure if they are causing problems or if I am causing problems for myself.  I plan to scale back my runs to 10-1-10-1-10-1-10 starting tonight and see if that sorts that.  It's calf pain I am having, so I don't know if that can be attributed to my shoes or no.  I KNOW it means I need to do more yoga, but here I sit, on my arse, blogging about yoga instead of doing it.  FAIL.  I keep trying to just stretch it out.  I really need to.  I am better than wearing out at 8 minutes in.  I'm a strong girl.  I've got this.

Anyway, I am giving the shoes the side-eye.  I've got a couple more weeks of test runs before I am stuck with them, so we shall see...

We are at right about a month before my first 10k EVER.  YES I CAN.

17 August 2013

My week.

Stuff I did this week.

Bootcamp, twice.  I really enjoyed it, too.  I needed a good run with bootcamps, because last week, I was ready to quit.  I was doing whole thirty and I would run completely out of energy before it was over.  There were a lot of factors at play here, but I think not having any non-fruit carbs was really kicking my butt.  I brought some Ezekiel bread back in and I've now got enough energy to make it through about 90 minutes of strenuous exercise.

3 training runs.  Sunday morning's run was ok, I really struggled on Wednesday- had to keep talking myself through it until I finished and today's run was an absolute dream.  I loved every second.  One of my BFFs met me for the last half-mile or so and it was such a joy to see her pretty face and hear her ramp it up beside me.  I've come a long way.  I can now run and talk a little at the same time.  It used to be that I needed to spend ALL of my attention on watching my breathing.  I'm really starting to think I can run these 10Ks.  Total mileage for the week was 13.11.  That's 3 3.5 mile runs and a shorty before bootcamp on Tuesday.

Not knit.  I've got projects on deck, really I do, but I keep turning my head away from them.  They are pretty much all straight knitting and that's so damned boring that I just want to do something else.  I need to stop, because I can't pick up something more interesting until I have these things off the needles. BECAUSE I SAY SO.

Ran a webinar.  At work, I've taken over running our team's weekly webinar.  I get a good amount of stage fright, but I am getting more confident week by week.  I'm starting to get to a place where I believe I can be good at it.  That's a good place to be.

Boxing class.  I LOVE TO BOX.  REALLY REALLY.  Something about boxing class makes me feel like all is well in the world for at least 3 hours after.  A friend I haven't seen for too long came to class today for the first time and she seemed to enjoy it.  This makes me happy.  Everyone should hit some stuff once a week.  It's good for the soul.

Counted calories- Even when it was inconvenient.  I may not lose weight this week.  I really can't be arsed to care too much.  But if I don't, it won't be because I didn't make myself accountable. 

All in all, I am really great with where I am.  I had an epiphany today.   I honestly don't care if I stay this weight forever, so long as this body will allow me to do the things I want to do.  I want to fuel it with healthy foods, do a better job of getting enough sleep and keep pushing myself to be better, faster, and stronger.  I am not defined by what the scale says.  Do I wish I looked better? Sure.  I think we all have that voice in our heads telling us to feel a certain way about ourselves.  But I am taking myself back from that voice.  I may not always feel this way, but today I do.  And I would like to feel this way tomorrow.  And that's a really, really great start.

So, how the heck are you?

14 August 2013

I signed up to do what?

Last night, I went on a race registration spree.

I have 5 events coming up and am now registered for 4 of them.

The first, Color Me Rad, will be walked with Raj and Deven.  I did this race last year and it was FUN FUN FUN!  I can't wait to get all messy!  That's August 31.

Coming up after my fellow Warriors and I will Run Back to the 80s on September 17.  We are planning on dressing like 80s TV show.  I'm thinking of Mama from Mama's family or maybe something from Facts of Life.

Coming up right after that is probably the one I am most scared of.  On September 29, I am going to run the Zoo Run Run 10k. This will be my longest ever race.  I'm nervous but I've got this.  YES I CAN.

After that, I registered for Gilda's Run 10k to benefit Gilda's Club on October 13- supporting people with cancer.

I am also doing a 12 mile moonlit walk at some point in October.  I might also add the haunted hustle and a Thanksgiving run (or 2) but for now, this is what I'm up to!

My weight isn't changing.  I'm still gaining and losing the same 5 lbs.  I need to just stay the course, track my food and try not to eat more than 1/2 of my exercise calories.  I've got this.  I know what to do, I just have to do it.

07 August 2013

Shrinking Jeans Summer Blowout Weightloss Challenge

I need a boost.  I decided to join The Shrinking Jeans Summer Blowout Weightloss Challenge.  I'm going to stay the course with my calorie counting, clean eating, 40 miles run for the month of August, 30 minutes of yoga per day and twice a week bootcamp and once per week boxing.

I'm proud of my fitness, but my weight continues to be higher than I'd like it and higher than it has been at various points of this year.  I'm disappointed to report that I am only one pound less than I was on 1/1/2013.  It's time for me to continue putting in the work.  Here's what I learned doesn't work for me.  MODERATION.  If I open the door, I open the floodgates and my self control goes out the window.  I need to just use my common sense, make better decisions and keep working hard.  You don't lose weight in the gym, you lose it in the kitchen.

My trainer will be doing fall and holiday fitness challenges.  I will definitely be in it with her, as my fitness has grown by leaps and bounds.  If I could get my food dialed in, I would seriously be all set.

I accidentally agreed to run a 10K in September and another in October, so I am working hard to get ready for that.  This week's training runs are 4 10-minute runs with a one minute walk break between each run.  Next week, it's 3 15-minute runs. I'm a little scared of it, but I'm tough, I've got this.  Prepare yourself for weeks of whining about too much running, which is probably better than weeks of silence I've been giving this blog lately.

So, how are you all? What are you doing to make your life a more positive place?