30 December 2007

9 months pregnant

On Wednesday, I will be 37 weeks pregnant. This marks the time when the baby is considered 'full term'. I could have this child any day. I bet money that he decides to be late, though.

I can tell you that this journey, while cool, is very tiring indeed. Now, I have lots of back pain, gigantic swelling feet, near constant menstrual like cramps, and a belly that moves kind of wildly at times.

I have our apartment set up for baby, our hospital bags packed and if I have my way, my husband will get his ass in gear and get the carseat installed VERY SOON. It drives me nuts that this isn't already done.

Oh, but if I could get the world to work within my timeframe. There would be few instances of procrastination.

I feel somewhat guilty that I haven't done a better job of updating here. It would be nice to have this documented for when our little boy gets here.

Deven Thomas, I can hardly wait to see your face. You can be born whenever you feel ready.

24 November 2007

8 months pregnant

So, here's an update on me, the little one, and the little one's daddy.

I'll start with Raj. He has had a nasty cold for about a week. Sore throat, headache, stuffy nose, cough. It was sounding like he was getting better, but then this AM he woke up with no voice. Now that he has been awake for a bit, he seems to be getting his voice back a little.

The baby. Mr. Deven has discovered my ribs. He pushes on them or kicks them and this is very uncomfortable. Also, he has discovered that he can place a good sharp kick to my bladder and send me running to the bathroom. This is not my favorite. What I do love about this stage of pregnancy is that he is a lot more active. It's very reassuring to feel him rolling, kicking and punching around in there.

Me. So, 8 months pregnant. I have never really gotten that OHMYGOD I MUST HAVE ______ that I have read that so many women get. I get hungry for stuff, but if I can't have it, no biggie, on to something else. The closest thing I could come to that was when I saw a commercial for Hawaiian Punch and while shopping, I went to that aisle specifically so that I could get some. I bought it even though it contains high fructose corn syrup, an ingredient that i usually work very hard to avoid. It was pretty goddamned delicious, I must say. My feet are really starting to swell, to the point that they don't seem to go down anymore. I had to buy new shoes because my brown work shoes didn't fit anymore, and will likely never fit again, since they are so stretched out of shape.

This morning I woke up with a headache and a stuffy nose. I better not be getting Raj's cold. If I do, asses will be kicked.

So, how they hell are all of you?

10 October 2007

25 weeks

We are now 25 weeks along. Raj and I went to the doctor yesterday and all seems to be well. Measuring ok, kicking, developing fine. Sounds like the invitations for the upcoming baby shower are getting ready to go out. I'm a bit uncomfortable with the thought of a party centered around me, but am really excited to see everyone.

My favorite was getting to hear his heartbeat again. He can't hide anymore so she found his heartbeat on the first try. Such a cool sound.

We had a really relaxing evening after the appointment. Just kicked back, watched some tv, and enjoyed each other's company. I needed that, because work has been pretty stressful as of late. I spend a lot of time feeling inadequate. It's not a nice feeling.

I called my mom to tell her about finally buying the crib mattress. She got off on a tangent about us moving back to Iowa. When I told her that it is not really on the list of places to look she got really pissed and passive aggressive. I am so sick of that nonsense. I can tell you right now, Deven will NOT be subjected to her BS moods and whims. He doesn't deserve it. Some days, I am not even sure why I even talk to her.

09 October 2007

Lots of stuff

Today, we go for our 24 week check up. We are very nearly a week behind, so it is actually a day behind 25 weeks.

He's been kicking and flipping around in there something fierce. It makes me happy to know that he thrives.

Know what else makes me happy? Raj. He has been so wonderful and supportive through all of my moods, depression, feeling wretchedly bad about myself. He's a real cheerleader. And he is the best.

We bought his first items yesterday. The first is his crib mattress. A friend had a brand new, top of the line crib mattress, and she sold it to us for a song, so we have that. I also got a pump in style from her. I estimate we saved about 400 bucks getting these things from her instead of at Babies R Us.

Unrelatedly (I hope) Sam the cat has been pulling his fur out. He has large bald spots on is front legs and belly. We aren't sure if it is allergies or stress, but are concerned that he is reacting to the change he knows is coming.

11 September 2007



Today is teh excitement

Ultrasound today! We get to see our cute little baby, and hopefully find out if we are having a blue or a pink.

YAY for ultrasounds.

I love this kid a ton.

09 September 2007

Me = Blahs.

I've been really struggling with my self image lately. As someone who was quite heavy and after years of trying, lost a lot of weight, post quitting smoking has been some rough times for me.

I had finally reset my self image as a NOT fat girl. And then I quit smoking and gained back ALL of what I lost. Then I lost 30 lbs again.

Now I am pregnant. And gaining rapidly. And I don't look pregnant. I look fat. I'm terribly depressed about my appearance. I feel terrible about myself. I suck at life.

Last night, my coworker got married. We got all gussied up and went to his reception. For the first time since probably July, I felt cute. Not fat looking, pregnant looking. My hair was good.

Man, I needed that.

01 September 2007

The kind of parent I don't want to be.

I had young parents. I don't think they were necessarily equipped to handle the strains and struggles of having children. Especially my mom.

Now, don't get me wrong, my mom loves us a bunch, probably more than anything, but she was a tough mom to have. Her mom was tougher than that, and apparently my great grandmother was a very tough mom to have. I'm sure it goes without saying that my great grandmother's mom was a challenge.

I want to break that cycle. I don't want to raise another generation of dysfunctional women. That being said, I really hope it is a girl. I really want to raise a healthy, confident, happy, well adjusted girl. I just hope I am the mom to do it.

Growing up in my family has left me with low self esteem, food issues, trust issues, more emotional scars than I care to admit. My mom was alternately smothering and completely neglectful.

All summer long, we would have to go outside and play. We weren't allowed in the house to go to the bathroom. We weren't allowed to do much. Once, I accidentally disrupted a bees nest, and got stung by 4 or 5 bees. My cousin (my watched my uncle's 2 boys during the summer, too) tearfully went to the house to tell my mom that I got stung. She told him "that's what she gets for messing with the bees." and slammed the door in his face.

I know my mom did her best by us, but I do think she was just too young. She's a fantastic grandmother.

I hope that by sheer will of not wanting to perpetuate it, I can break the cycle.

19 August 2007


Sundays are the laziest of all days around here. I usually make something carbarific for breakfast (this morning it was garlic cheddar biscuits) and we read the paper, and laze around. Our typical Sunday activities include recreational shopping, groceries, and slack.

Raj has to write a paper today, but other than that, we have no agenda. We are showered up, and I am dressed. I look so cute. I am wearing this adorable blue and white striped maternity shirt my sister bought me, and some dark blue denim capris. I might have to have Raj take a picture, documenting that I actually looked cute for a day.

Maybe we will go to the zoo, or the botanical gardens, or just around Madison a bit. Even though it is raining like crazy, I like to go around and document how pretty our fair city is. It's easy to forget how much nice there is when the rest of the world spends so much time being ugly. There are also a large variety of baby items we could be shopping, comparing and pricing. And I need to buy some things to make a veggie pizza for a pot luck we are having at work.

YESTERDAY was our company picnic. Sucky that it rained, but it was great to have everyone get together, and meet everyone's families. Since we have 2 offices, it was a real treat to see everyone from that office.

17 August 2007

16 week appointment, 1 week late

We got to see our doctor today. Much like last time, the baby was trying very hard to hide from her, but she would not let the little stinker do this. The baby was clear down by my pelvic area (with almost my whole tummy to choose from!) The heart rate was in the 160s. It was a very cool experience, and I am so glad we finally got to hear it.

I love that kid so much already.

16 August 2007

160 days to go!

i have this cute ticker
new baby

that i look at every day. it causes me to know how many days until my baby is due.

looking at it is a bit of an obsession, frankly.

tomorrow is our next appointment. and we should be able to schedule our ultrasound! hooray for looking at our baby

15 August 2007


both stupid cats were yowling like crazy tonight. it's a pretty nice night, so i decided to turn off the central air and open the patio to let the cats go outside and play.

they have been so calm since, but I have gotten bit by about 1 million mosquitoes in the past hour.

i freaking hate mosquitoes. my cats are so not worth it.

unrelated, but important. the bebbe in my belly is 17 weeks along today. 23 weeks to go. at some point in the future, i hope to look pregnant instead of just fat. it's been a joy, so far little one. can't wait to meet you.

10 August 2007

This blog is virtually unread

Even by me. I like this little blog, too.

Today, I am so bored, it is beyond reason. I have run out of fun stuff to look at on the internet, my husband is at work, and I just don't even know what to do with myself.

I sent a text to a friend who usually has Fridays off. Maybe she will want to swim.

09 August 2007


So here I am, 4 months pregnant now.

I've had it very easy so far. No real morning sickness (no barfs, but nausea galore)
I had the tireds like nobody's business, though.

Starting to show a bit. Hard to tell, cause of my fat belly :)

Mostly, I like being pregnant, but DAMN if I am not the MESSIEST.WOMAN.EVER.

Since we like to recreationally shop, we now have a fine excuse. We need so much for the baby.

Haven't bought anything yet.

Will post more soon.

Emily the Good.

ALSO, WTF WPR, why are you suddenly all static? LAME

04 May 2007


Yeah, I haven't done a darned thing about getting fit again. I am so irritated about this. I was so motivated, now I am not.

Time to find my groove. I need to start running again.

If I don't post about running here, nag me about it, k?

29 April 2007


My last post was me paying lipservice. My mouth was writing checks my butt didn't cash.

I have to get back into the swing. I was so proud of myself. I was getting so strong. NOW I AM SITTING ON MY ASS ALL THE TIME.

I ran on Friday, and it sucked more than any run has ever sucked. I barely made it a quarter of a mile.

I am starting my running program all over again, because dammit, I have to work back into it. I am pissed. I had come so far.

Ah, well. I got there once, I can do it again.

To the good, I think we are going to go shopping for balcony flowers today. Balcony flowers make me happy.

20 April 2007

Vacation makes me a lazy.

Or excuses making does. Be that as it may, we left for vacation the Saturday before Easter, and today was the first day that I actually ran again.

I suck. I can run a half mile, but I am pretty beat. Will have to build back up to it.

Anyway, funtime is over. No more excuses. Only sweating.

23 March 2007

I'm happy today

Because all of my self esteem is on the scale.

I LOST 2 lbs today. YAY. I will celebrate by adding on to my running routine.

Kitties are lazy and fat.


22 March 2007

An update

getting ready for the big trip to alabama. it's been so long since we saw everyone, so i am really excited.

i won't be able to run there, though. maybe i can get everyone out doing stuff that is active, like bowling, going to zoos, etc.

and yeah, matt, i am posting again, thanks for noticing. i thought i was incognito

09 March 2007


I did my run, and moved up to the new week wonderfully. I didn't die or anything, even when I ran a HALF MILE without stopping to walk YAY

Then my left instep starting hurting. AND my right instep.

I think it's time to buy dedicated running shoes.

06 March 2007

I am buff enough

I just got back from my run. I'm feeling pretty good about my progress. After dinner, where I eat delicious and nutritious chili made by me, emily the good, I will do my strength training.

Observations from the elliptical. Skinny guy, doing 3 reps of triceps extensions, 2 reps of biceps curls and 3 reps of lateral raises is not a workout. But I hope you enjoyed your jacuzzi.

To the girl on the elliptical, try a bit of a warm up walk before starting to run. You could hurt yourself. ALSO, what's up with the bathing suit while running?

03 March 2007

Bad workout

I just did Tae Bo Cardio, and I really think that he takes moves too fast for me to maintain good form.

I will have to be a lot more fit before wanting to do them again.

Also, Billy Blanks acts like a jackass in his workout videos.

02 March 2007

Good workout

My run today was FANTASTIC, particularly because I have been feeling so sucky lately. I hopped on that elliptical and worked my heart out. It felt great to get moving again. I hate the way I feel when I am not moving.

I checked into the local gym, the Princeton Club, because I am wanting some organized classes, but I'm not impressed with what is available after 6 pm (which is when I get off of work) and with what is available before 7 am. WTF Princeton Club? Is it only stay at home moms that want to use your services?

I suspect that I could buy my own elliptical and work out with free weights for less than the monthly fee, anyway. Also, I do NOT need to sweat next to skinny broads in order to feel bad about myself. I feel bad enough without their help.

It's about time

I braved the slushy roads and went to Weight Watchers today.

I lost 2.2. I am so happy. It's about time I had a good loss!

01 March 2007

Still sick

I have spent the past few days with tummy distress. I am ready for it to be over.

So now, I am laying on the couch with my kitties, and napping intermittently.

After all of this not wanting to eat at all business, I better have some sort of loss tomorrow.

Also, a big part of me worries that when I come home from work sick, everyone thinks I am faking it.

28 February 2007


yesterday, i got a severe pain in my side. like a cramp. normally something like that would come and then go.

i still have it. I also have a matching pain on my right side. and some nausea. it succccks.

also, i didn't make my run, what with the overt desire to vomit and the side clutching.

27 February 2007

what the?

last night i dreamt about the litter box. does this mean i am full of crap?

25 February 2007


wow. there's a lot of snow out there.

my dad called to check in. about 1 minute into the call he got another call, so he told me he would call me back and hung up.

then he called back and said that it was my sister calling him. i made a joke about showing favoritism amongst my siblings. we talked for a few minutes, and he got another call, and hung up.

it's sure nice to be important

24 February 2007

Blah. It's not that fun to be me right now.

It doesn't sound like I am going to get my elliptical. Apparently, I have not done a very good job of pleading my case to Raj. Nevermind that the elliptical at the fitness center is crap. Nevermind that it would be lovely not to have to bundle up to go to the fitness center, get all sweaty, and walk back in the cold.

Other things I am not getting? A newer car, new clothing, any thinner.

Things I got that I wanted? Delicious Chocolate Turtle coffee.

I'm so irritated that my entire self worth is wrapped up in the numbers on the scale. After a week of near perfect plan working, I stayed exactly the same. It's taken me 6 weeks to lose 2.6 lbs. This, of course, means that I am a tremendous failure. If I spoke to everyone else the way I speak to myself, I wouldn't have a friend in the world.

So, I am feeling really down right now, and I don't know how to stop feeling down. I think it's the weather. Blah.

20 February 2007

observations from the elliptical

Perhaps eating meatloaf an hour before my run was not a good idea.

it is belicious and nutritious meatloaf made by me, emily the good, but certainly not pleasant sitting heavily while trying to work out.

trying to not garf now.

18 February 2007

Recreational shopping

Yet again. We went to 2nd Wind. I think I like the Octane Q35 best of all. It's expensive, but not too expensive.

Also, I have been busting my butt on the fitness center elliptical, and I hopped on the ones at 2nd Wind, and they show me going more like 7 or 8 miles an hour. When I am really clicking along at the fitness center, I am usually under 4 MPH. I wonder if my workouts have been more effective than I think?

I think Raj might be ALMOST on board with this.

Another day, another dollar not spent?

i want my own elliptical. I am going to drag raj kicking and screaming to 2nd Wind to try out the higher quality ellipticals. i want one with a running trainer, since i have a goal to run a 5k in may.

mostly, i just like to mentally spend 2k.

17 February 2007

You know you blog too much when

It's February, and March of last year is in your current posts.

I'll try to be less prolific.

I have high self-esteem

On Thursday night, Raj poppin' freshed my belly.

I took this to mean that I am a gigantic fatass.

Friday AM, I go to weigh in. Now, I have been working out like a demon and strength training, which always floods your muscles with water, initially. I gained .6 lbs. This is further justification to my belief that I am the fattest woman ever born.

Saturday, after spending 70 minutes on the elliptical (yeah, i am just that tough, too) I was feeling pretty positive, so I tried on my favorite jeans, the ones that I could JUST squish into after completing 2 fasts. A bit snug, but comfy.

So yeah, I am smaller, even though I weigh more. And I have high self-esteem. No wonder I am such a joy to be around :rolleyes:

*ALSO* After our celebratory Valentine's Glass Nickel, I will have earned a gain next week, if I have one.