09 September 2007

Me = Blahs.

I've been really struggling with my self image lately. As someone who was quite heavy and after years of trying, lost a lot of weight, post quitting smoking has been some rough times for me.

I had finally reset my self image as a NOT fat girl. And then I quit smoking and gained back ALL of what I lost. Then I lost 30 lbs again.

Now I am pregnant. And gaining rapidly. And I don't look pregnant. I look fat. I'm terribly depressed about my appearance. I feel terrible about myself. I suck at life.

Last night, my coworker got married. We got all gussied up and went to his reception. For the first time since probably July, I felt cute. Not fat looking, pregnant looking. My hair was good.

Man, I needed that.

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