I've been trying to take some time to enjoy life. I've been working on that eternal struggle- not celebrating with food, not medicating with food.
This past weekend with my family, the emotions were raw. We all feel protective of my little sister. She's the kindest of us, but she's also the most brittle in a way. Her self esteem has been whittled down to nothing and it wasn't too strong to begin with. Despite that fact that she's one of the kindest hearts you'd ever wish to know, that she has a capacity for love that few people can match, that she's nearly pure good. Maybe because of it. I don't know. But what I know is that her pain is my pain. I'd take it all from her if I could. If I could impart any knowledge to her, it would be how strong she is. She's been holding a marriage together singlehandedly for several years, raising three kids virtually by herself, working and going to school. She's been trying to sell one house and remodel another. She's amazing. She's kind. Her smile will make anyone smile. Swear it.
That being said, I veered wildly from my usual more conservative style of eating. (Like I always do when I am in Iowa) We ate comfort food, pure and simple. Mac and Cheese, Pizza, Monkey Bread. Donuts. Normally, I come home from Iowa about 6 pounds heavier, but this time, one day out, I'm up only about 1 lb. I'm sure if I buckle down, I will be back into losing territory soon. I need to be.
I went out on a 25 minute run last night. OH MAN was that ever a slog. I did fine, I really did, but it was exhausting. The dog was an idiot without interruption and I forgot to breathe correctly and that is so key. My runs just don't work for me without good, measured breathing. I got myself through it by sheer will, but it was sooooo hard.
Inconveniently, I have a 5K (Color Me Rad!) scheduled for this coming weekend. I'm not ready for it, but I will run as much as I can. I honestly think I can run the full thing. I can just slow down and drive it home. We shall see. I will do my best.
After the run, we plan to go to a farm, feed some goats, enjoy some Apple Cider Donuts and Cider- some good clean farm fun.
On Sunday, we have a 5K for Autism scheduled. This one is a walk. I'm looking forward to this, too. One of our good friends has two children with Autism so this is a favorite cause.
Looking forward to Sunday weigh in. I'm anticipating a good one.
*this blog moved from my old blog.