The kind of parent I don't want to be.

I had young parents. I don't think they were necessarily equipped to handle the strains and struggles of having children. Especially my mom.

Now, don't get me wrong, my mom loves us a bunch, probably more than anything, but she was a tough mom to have. Her mom was tougher than that, and apparently my great grandmother was a very tough mom to have. I'm sure it goes without saying that my great grandmother's mom was a challenge.

I want to break that cycle. I don't want to raise another generation of dysfunctional women. That being said, I really hope it is a girl. I really want to raise a healthy, confident, happy, well adjusted girl. I just hope I am the mom to do it.

Growing up in my family has left me with low self esteem, food issues, trust issues, more emotional scars than I care to admit. My mom was alternately smothering and completely neglectful.

All summer long, we would have to go outside and play. We weren't allowed in the house to go to the bathroom. We weren't allowed to do much. Once, I accidentally disrupted a bees nest, and got stung by 4 or 5 bees. My cousin (my watched my uncle's 2 boys during the summer, too) tearfully went to the house to tell my mom that I got stung. She told him "that's what she gets for messing with the bees." and slammed the door in his face.

I know my mom did her best by us, but I do think she was just too young. She's a fantastic grandmother.

I hope that by sheer will of not wanting to perpetuate it, I can break the cycle.

Sunday!

Sundays are the laziest of all days around here. I usually make something carbarific for breakfast (this morning it was garlic cheddar biscuits) and we read the paper, and laze around. Our typical Sunday activities include recreational shopping, groceries, and slack.

Raj has to write a paper today, but other than that, we have no agenda. We are showered up, and I am dressed. I look so cute. I am wearing this adorable blue and white striped maternity shirt my sister bought me, and some dark blue denim capris. I might have to have Raj take a picture, documenting that I actually looked cute for a day.

Maybe we will go to the zoo, or the botanical gardens, or just around Madison a bit. Even though it is raining like crazy, I like to go around and document how pretty our fair city is. It's easy to forget how much nice there is when the rest of the world spends so much time being ugly. There are also a large variety of baby items we could be shopping, comparing and pricing. And I need to buy some things to make a veggie pizza for a pot luck we are having at work.


YESTERDAY was our company picnic. Sucky that it rained, but it was great to have everyone get together, and meet everyone's families. Since we have 2 offices, it was a real treat to see everyone from that office.

16 week appointment, 1 week late

We got to see our doctor today. Much like last time, the baby was trying very hard to hide from her, but she would not let the little stinker do this. The baby was clear down by my pelvic area (with almost my whole tummy to choose from!) The heart rate was in the 160s. It was a very cool experience, and I am so glad we finally got to hear it.

I love that kid so much already.

160 days to go!

i have this cute ticker


that i look at every day. it causes me to know how many days until my baby is due.

looking at it is a bit of an obsession, frankly.

tomorrow is our next appointment. and we should be able to schedule our ultrasound! hooray for looking at our baby

Mosquitoes

both stupid cats were yowling like crazy tonight. it's a pretty nice night, so i decided to turn off the central air and open the patio to let the cats go outside and play.

they have been so calm since, but I have gotten bit by about 1 million mosquitoes in the past hour.

i freaking hate mosquitoes. my cats are so not worth it.

unrelated, but important. the bebbe in my belly is 17 weeks along today. 23 weeks to go. at some point in the future, i hope to look pregnant instead of just fat. it's been a joy, so far little one. can't wait to meet you.

This blog is virtually unread

Even by me. I like this little blog, too.

Today, I am so bored, it is beyond reason. I have run out of fun stuff to look at on the internet, my husband is at work, and I just don't even know what to do with myself.

I sent a text to a friend who usually has Fridays off. Maybe she will want to swim.

Pregnancy

So here I am, 4 months pregnant now.

I've had it very easy so far. No real morning sickness (no barfs, but nausea galore)
I had the tireds like nobody's business, though.

Starting to show a bit. Hard to tell, cause of my fat belly :)

Mostly, I like being pregnant, but DAMN if I am not the MESSIEST.WOMAN.EVER.

Since we like to recreationally shop, we now have a fine excuse. We need so much for the baby.

Haven't bought anything yet.

Will post more soon.

Love,
Emily the Good.

ALSO, WTF WPR, why are you suddenly all static? LAME